Ryder Cup Logo Ryder Cup: Team USASeptember 22-24 2006, The K Club, Straffan, County Kildare, Ireland

I Never Knew Guinness Cured The Common Cold

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 2:43 PM

Day 2 on the Emerald Isle, which is even greener thanks to the vile goop coming out of my nose and throat. I’m officially under the weather, and that’s saying something considering the fact that the weather keeps changing. There’ve been at least a dozen different meteorological conditions in the last 24 hours, from hot and sunny to cold and rainy. Then there’s my favorite description, "dank." Seems like the U.K. ought to have exclusive descriptor rights to "dank." It just fits.

Haven't had much success finding medication, other than Ireland’s legendary brew. In checking around a couple of different places in search of a decongestant, I kept getting the same response, "Nothin' a pint o’ Guinness won’t cure." I laughed. They didn’t. Reminded me of the SNL skit with Steve Martin as Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber.

Theodoric: "You'll feel a lot better after a good bleeding."

Drunk Guy (Bill Murray): "But I’m bleeding already!"

Theodoric: "Say, who's the barber here?"

Apparently, the plan here is to drink as much Guinness as possible when you’re feeling a little low, and go from there. Either you feel better or pass out or both.

The U.S. is feeling hale and hearty after touching down in Dublin on Monday afternoon. Your intrepid reporter stayed at the airport an extra two hours after landing to make sure I was on hand for their arrival. That and the fact that I couldn’t find my ride to the hotel. Mostly, though, it was my intrepidness and reporterhood that compelled me to be there.

The U.S. team was three hours late getting in because, according to Captain Tom Lehman, they couldn’t cram all their luggage into the chartered jet. Fortunately, Americans don’t already have a reputation for wretched excess. Of course, they hope to carry home even more than what they brought. Something tells me they could find room for the Ryder Cup.

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